Fat Activism and You!

Got some free time from October 9 through 11? Yes or no, you should check out this year’s Fat Activism Conference: Tools for the Revolution!

3 whole days of talks and panels by people devoted to changing the status quo where us fat folk are marginalized and shamed. 

No, you do not have to be an activist yourself to join in and learn. However, if you’re reading this and interested in learning to love your fat body you’re already engaging in activism at the most basic level: daring to challenge the norm.

So click on over and register to enjoy the event live or listen later to the recordings. Plenty of options if you want to join in and own the recordings, even on a budget!

Hope to see you there!


Your Hate Loss Journey Starts Here

There is ONE thing you have to do to get started on your journey. You ready?

start by clicking here

Sometimes Chain Mails Include Wisdom, Who Knew?

Remember in the late 90s, early 00s when email chains were all the rage? I was one of those people who found these little nuggets in my email to be more irritating than stuff I wanted to read. Many times, I would just hit delete and move on to the next email. However, there were a few that were truly pearls and have stuck with me to this day (sorry, none of them were about Jesus or my undying love for Him) and here is one that really resonated with me.

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON … It is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON … Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind, but friendship is clairvoyant.

~Author Unknown

What I learned from this message through trial and error over the years is that time I have spent in relationships is never time wasted. These have been some of the times that I have grown the most. The most important thing to remember is to keep moving forward and use the lessons that you have learned to apply new things in life.

When I received this email, I was going through a really rough time in my life. My dog had died, My relationship with who I thought was “the one” ended and I was a victim of date rape. It felt like my whole life was spinning out of control. This message came at a pivotal moment in my life. It came at exactly the right time for me.

And maybe it’s right on time for you.

The time for “spring cleaning” is right around the corner. It’s a good time to not only clear out our closets and underneath things, but also a great time to evaluate the people in our life. As fat folk, we tend to cling to any and all friendships that come our way because we’re often afraid to fall into that “lonely fatty” stereotype. We tend to feel that not many people will like us because of the extra weight we carry. We think that people will feel disgusted with us and often times We tend to be way too nice and put up with way too much. We overlook things that our thinner friends would never put up with. We feel as if we are lucky to be friends or with this person so we do everything in our power to get that person to stay with us. Even after the relationship turns toxic, we think that it is somehow caused by our fatness and thus we make excuses over and over.

An important aspect of self-care is where we protect ourselves from toxic circumstances. No matter if they are people, places or things. Now take a good long hard look at your current relationships. Decide if they are with you for a reason, season or lifetime. Feel free to cleanse yourself of relationships that no longer serve you. For example, the person who only invites you out when they need something from you, the friend who calls you as a last resort, the shopping buddy who spends the whole time giving you backhanded compliments, the hangout buddy who taxes your emotional reserves.

Keep in mind the lessons that these people have taught you. Carry them forward with you and get rid of the toxic relationships. It has been said that for a tree to grow that the dead branches must be trimmed away to make room for the new. It is the same way with us. If we continue to hold on to toxic people, then there will be no more space for newer, better people to come into our lives.

Got a toxic relationship you need to let go of? Not sure how to start? Contact me for a Breakthrough Session and we can work on this together.

Originally posted on Fierce, Freethinking Fatties

Reclaiming the Word “Fat”

I call myself the Fat Health Coach, not only as a way to differentiate myself from any other health coaches you find out there, but also because it’s true.

At my old job, there was a new guy who was pretty obnoxious. He seemed to get off on insulting people and I didn’t want much to do with that. However, one day I could no longer hold my tongue and commented that he was really obnoxious. His face screwed up, a moment passed, and he simply replied, “nevermind.” I asked him what he meant by that and he said, “well, I was going to say that you’re fat.” My response, “Oh, what a clever insult.”

In that moment, I realized that I was not really offended by being called fat. It was a simple truth. I’m fat. I’ve pretty much always been fat. And many people throughout my lifetime have used this descriptive term against me.

It’s gotten old and I’m over it.

When I began this journey to becoming a health coach and was challenged to embrace this part of myself (that everyone else seemed to see first and foremost), I had some trouble really “coming out” as fat. Ragen Chastain of Dances With Fat talks about this extensively. And I’ve found that a simple mindset shift was all that was really necessary to neutralize this word.

Basically, if I was really and truly over with having the word fat being used against me and I embraced myself, all of myself, including my fat, then I simply had to stop letting that little word have such power over me.

I did that by deciding to reclaim it and make it mine.

I began to use it to describe myself and others like me. It’s not pejorative, it’s like saying they are tall, short, old, young, whatever: descriptive. Some people are skinny. Some are brunette. Some are American. Describe, describe, describe.

And when I use the word fat in this way, it loses its charge. Batteries are dead. No more power, baby.

And that’s the way it should be.

Fat does not have to be insulting or a sentence for early death and disease.

Fat can be what you make it.

Use it to describe yourself and see how you feel. And remember, it’s just a descriptive word. An adjective. Nothing more than that.

Need help reclaiming fat for yourself? No problem, we can work on this together. Sign up for your free Breakthrough Session today by clicking here.

Been Caught Eating

Today, I happened upon this lovely little gem on Medium about a man who photographs his wife eating as a show of devotion and mutual enjoyment of life. I expected to find out that she is in recovery from an eating disorder and his photography is a way to help her on her way (you can tell that this is the kind of stuff that I tend to be focused on). However, as I read, I definitely didn’t get what I expected.

I got more.

There was no mention of an eating disorder, nothing about weight, or food stigma or anything of the sort.

It was an essay showing the devotion one man feels for one woman and how he chooses to express it.

I was touched.

And then I realized that my husband tends to do a lot of photographing of me while I eat. Or with food in front of me. Or while preparing food.

And I. hate. it.

So I started to really think about why it bothers me so much to be captured with food in my mouth and realized that it’s because I’m fat.

Deeper diving into this limiting belief that I’m carrying around, deep in my mind, helps me to see that I feel unworthy of being documented while eating because I’m fat and that means that I’m probably eating too much and a photo is only proof that I’m doing exactly that. Eating cake: bad for me. Eating BBQ ribs: bad for me. Eating fried anything: bad for me.

I’m here as the Fat Health Coach, to help other fat folks realize and express their fabulousness, but still in the back of my mind I’m holding this stupid limiting belief that I’m not good enough to eat because I’m fat. Ha. (I never said I was perfect.)

So, today, I’m going to take the first step forward, to move away from this silly bullshit thought and post a picture of me stuffing food in my face. Caught Eating!

I deserve to eat what I want, when I want, in what quantity makes me feel good, because I can, fat or not. 

Got a limiting belief you can’t get out of your head? Let’s see if we can get rid of it together. Sign up for a Breakthrough Session today.

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