Remember in the late 90s, early 00s when email chains were all the rage? I was one of those people who found these little nuggets in my email to be more irritating than stuff I wanted to read. Many times, I would just hit delete and move on to the next email. However, there were a few that were truly pearls and have stuck with me to this day (sorry, none of them were about Jesus or my undying love for Him) and here is one that really resonated with me.
People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON … It is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.
When people come into your life for a SEASON … Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind, but friendship is clairvoyant.
What I learned from this message through trial and error over the years is that time I have spent in relationships is never time wasted. These have been some of the times that I have grown the most. The most important thing to remember is to keep moving forward and use the lessons that you have learned to apply new things in life.
When I received this email, I was going through a really rough time in my life. My dog had died, My relationship with who I thought was “the one” ended and I was a victim of date rape. It felt like my whole life was spinning out of control. This message came at a pivotal moment in my life. It came at exactly the right time for me.
And maybe it’s right on time for you.
The time for “spring cleaning” is right around the corner. It’s a good time to not only clear out our closets and underneath things, but also a great time to evaluate the people in our life. As fat folk, we tend to cling to any and all friendships that come our way because we’re often afraid to fall into that “lonely fatty” stereotype. We tend to feel that not many people will like us because of the extra weight we carry. We think that people will feel disgusted with us and often times We tend to be way too nice and put up with way too much. We overlook things that our thinner friends would never put up with. We feel as if we are lucky to be friends or with this person so we do everything in our power to get that person to stay with us. Even after the relationship turns toxic, we think that it is somehow caused by our fatness and thus we make excuses over and over.
An important aspect of self-care is where we protect ourselves from toxic circumstances. No matter if they are people, places or things. Now take a good long hard look at your current relationships. Decide if they are with you for a reason, season or lifetime. Feel free to cleanse yourself of relationships that no longer serve you. For example, the person who only invites you out when they need something from you, the friend who calls you as a last resort, the shopping buddy who spends the whole time giving you backhanded compliments, the hangout buddy who taxes your emotional reserves.
Keep in mind the lessons that these people have taught you. Carry them forward with you and get rid of the toxic relationships. It has been said that for a tree to grow that the dead branches must be trimmed away to make room for the new. It is the same way with us. If we continue to hold on to toxic people, then there will be no more space for newer, better people to come into our lives.
Got a toxic relationship you need to let go of? Not sure how to start? Contact me for a Breakthrough Session and we can work on this together.
Originally posted on Fierce, Freethinking Fatties